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Bam: "It's been four and a half God damn hours."
Ryan: "Who are you talking to?"
Bam: "My-f*cking self."

Bam: "Let's rock this thing so maybe it'll fall over and we can get out."
Ryan: "Yeah, that's the way I wanna spend the rest of the afternoon. Dead."

Ape: "What the hell is going on in here?!"
Bam: "Pirate scene!"
Ape: "Are you kidding me?!"
Bam: "Yes."

"So what, I thought you'd die, I was all happy." - Vito zu Bam

Bam: "Well, Fast Eddie's Treetop Casino's ruined, but at least we know the cannon ball's real."
Ryan: "It's lost again, but it's real!"

"They're so fat they can't turn their necks, they'll never see it." - Bam, während er versucht einen guten Platz für den Fisch im Auto zu suchen

Phil: "How'd you know my size?"
Bam: "What's your size? Fat."

April: "If I win, I get to make a room Laura Ashley."
Bam: "What the hell does that color look like?"

Bam: "I think that's pretty easy, right?"
Tony: "I think - yeah."
Bam: "Only 2 people have done it."
Tony: "Really?"

"I don't know what it is, but it sounds sick." - Bam

Bam: "Plus I decided to get Don Vito a date for this thing."
Ryan: "Good luck."
Bam: "What're you talkin' about, you're helping."

April: "Aren't you sick of halfpipes?"
Bam: "HELL no, I'm a skater!"

Bam: "We're finding you a date."
Vito: "As long as she ain't all muddy like you."

"You suck as a son." - Ryan zu Bam

"I gotta do the exact opposite of Ape's stupid bushes she paints." - Bam

Bam: "Can you believe this shit?"
Bran: "I can't believe they kicked you outta the township!"

Bam: "Quit taking a sit break, Vito - you're sittin' on a glycerine tank!"
Vito: "It doesn't matter."

"He's just naked - he's like an Aboriginee just hangin' out here." - Bam über Glomb während er nackt skatet

"You don't want puke from your own son?" - Bam zu April

Vito: "I'm gonna get you back later."
Bam: "What're you gonna do?"
Vito: "Have Ashton Koosher do something to you."
Bam: "Ashton Koosher!!!" (man schreibt Ashton Kutcher, für die die es nicht wissen)

"My whole Dad's side of the family's fat." - Bam

Man: "It's a brand new car!"
Bam: "It's a '96!"

Bam: "You're so f*cking hot."
Phil: "Is that a compliment?" -Phil's Workout, after he wouldn't get off of Bam