TOW Rachel's date

Days of our Lives set

(Joey is doing a scene with a co-star as Rachel watches on a monitor.)

Joey's Co-Star: Drake, I've discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss.

Dr. Drake Ramoray: What is it?

Joey's Co-Star: Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is
                               rejecting Jessica's brain.

Dr. Drake Ramoray: Is it serious?

Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and
                                introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.

Dr. Drake Ramoray: Well that sounds simple enough, let's just do that.

Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessica's body, it was gone.

(Dramatic music plays and Joey does a little 'Smell-the-fart" acting.)

Director: Cut! Very nice people!

Joey: (to Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.

Rachel: Well don't - What happened to Jessica's body?!

Joey: I'm not telling, you'll have to see it on TV!

Rachel: You don't know do you?

Joey: No, couldn't care less.

Joey's Co-Star: Hey good scene man.

Joey: Hey you too!

Joey's Co-Star: Alright.

(Rachel clears her throat.)

Joey: What? You weren't in it.

Rachel: Oh! (Montions to Joey's co-star)

Joey: Oh sorry. Uh-uh, Kash?

Kash: Yes?

Joey: This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel.

Rachel: Hi.

Kash: Hey! How come I haven't seen you here before?

Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks I'll just embarrass him. Y'know, he thinks I'm some kind of a soap
                opera nut - Which I'm not! I'm not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream
                is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dog's name is Wally. Well
                look at that, I'm just stroking your arm.

Joey: (grabbing her) Here we go! Here we go! (starts to pull her away from Kash)

Rachel: Oh, we're leaving. Bye Kash.

Kash: Bye.

Rachel: Say hi to Wally.


Joey and Rachel's apartment

(Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.)

Joey: Hey!

Rachel: Hi!

Jeoy: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.

Rachel: I thought I was a complete idiot.

Joey: Hey, I'm with you. He even asked me if I thought you'd go out with him.

Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?

Joey: I said no.

Rachel: What?!

Joey: What? I...I just figured since you're pregnant you're not gonna be seeing people.

Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I
                 was pregnant?

Joey: I didn't tell him. I didn't know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still
             people.

Rachel: Good-good, don't tell him. Don't tell him. Just have him call me okay?

Joey: Rach look, I really don't think that's such a great...

Rachel: Okay, you go do it! I'll come back to that set! I'll meet more actors! I'll meet 'em all!

Joey and Rachel's apartment

(Rachel is getting ready for her date and Joey is reading a magazine.)

Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, I'm
                a recovering alcoholic. I'm a Mormom" or "I gost so hammered last night, I'm still a little drunk"?

Ross: (entering with a pizza and beer) Hey!

Rachel: Hi!

Joey: Hey!

Ross: So, what do you want to do tonight? There's a Ukrainian film at the Angelica that's supposed to be very
            powerful. Interested?

Joey: No. No. But I'll go see a normal person movie with ya.

Ross: Rach? You wanna come?

Rachel: Oh no, I can't. I got a date.

Ross: A date?

Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?

Ross: Why no. it's the opposite of weird. It's-it's uh, regular. It's-it's uh, it's mundane. It's actually uh, a little dull.

Joey: It's no Ukrainian film.

Rachel: Yeah - Ooh! Earrings! (Goes into her room)

Ross: A date?! She's-she's got a date?! With who?

Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.

Ross: You set her up?!

Joey: No.

Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!

Joey: Well I was thinking that it'd probably be okay because Ross hasn't gone out with Rachel in five years!

Ross: Joey, I'm not worried about her! I'm worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates!
            Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?

Joey: Hey! I'm an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! I'm not sure. I think they're taking the ferry
            out to some Italian place on Staten Island.

Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!

Joey: Are we talking about one of those big boats that carry cars that go like five miles an hour?

Ross: Why don't they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-that's a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?!
            That's fun too! Whew!!

(There's a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)

Kash: Hey Joey.

Joey: HeyKash. Ih hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.

Kash: Hey.

Ross: Hi. I-I hear you're going on a ferry tonight.

Kash: Yeah.

Ross: A bit of daredevil are we?

Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too slutty - Hi Kash!

Kash: Hey Rachel! You ready to go?

Rachel: Yeah! All right, I'll see you guys later.

Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.

Rachel: Thank you.

Kash: Thank you.

Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)